Being Human
by Hedonistic Opportunist
Summary: At least, even if one of them dies, Kamui knows that things were clear between them in the end. Written for springkink.


_**Being Human **_

Warning(s): Too much dialogue, far too many brackets, weird characterisation and … well, that's pretty much it. Self-edited.

Notes: Written for springkink. Another evidence of my writing too much. Far, far too much XD. Concrit is love?

...

_It's a weird night_, Kamui thinks. There are no stars in the sky and the moon is hidden from view - it's just all black. _Blank_. A perfect setting for this event.

"You wanted to meet up - a sort of temporary truce before the grand finale," Fuuma (Kamui will still call him that, even though he's - technically - the other _Kamui _now) says, and he's smiling. Amusedly. Wistfully.

Kamui doesn't know. He's long since forgotten how to read this person; he doesn't know _who _this person is.

_(He's not the Fuuma Kamui once knew.)_

But, maybe, Kamui has never been good at reading other people because, if he thinks about it all, he's never really known anyone at all - not Fumma. Not Kotori. Not Subaru. Not even his own mother _(one never existed, the other wanted to die, for the other he could do nothing, and last person left him because of a destiny he never wanted to fulfill in the first place). _

"Yes, a temporary truce -," Kamui pauses and runs a hand through his hair, sighing deeply," and maybe … some catching up between old friends without someone dying for a change… or losing body parts." Or him ending up in the hospital again, he wants to add, but he's sure Fuuma can get the gist of his words. No need to be dramatic here.

Fuuma laughs for a moment. "I see you haven't lost your sense of humour, Kamui."

"I can't always … be miserable, _Fuuma_." And, to be honest, Kamui is sick and tired of being depressed all the time - he doesn't remember when he's last been carefree (it's not fair - he's not even sixteen yet, but still carries the burden of the entire world on his frail shoulders.)

Another laugh - a rich sound that makes Kamui's stomach do odd little somersaults because he's never heard Fuuma like this, but he likes it. No, he loves it - that deep voice, and the way Fuuma's (when he's like this, Kamui can pretend it _is_ the person he once believed to know) eyes light up when he's smiling. "I see you're not like Subaru."

_Subaru_. Kamui feels something break inside of him. Just a bit. The last time he saw Subaru was while Fuuma was looming over him with a sword in hand. About to impale him with it (he still doesn't know why he's not dead, why Fuuma just withdrew and then - along with the other Dragons of the Earth - disappeared, leaving Kamui feel confused and bewildered as always).

But yes, Subaru's an enemy now.

"How is he?" Kamui asks, not even tentatively, because, even if Subaru has joined the other side, it doesn't change the fact that Kamui is _worried_ about him.

Fuuma cocks his head to the side for a moment and then shrugs. "Miserable - as always. But then, Subaru is probably masturbating to his own tragedy."

Kamui is shocked for a moment, but then realises it's the truth (Subaru can't be happy because he won't allow himself to be.) "I miss him." And he does because Subaru was one of the few people who really understood him, knew what it was like to -

_(love someone you should have hated). _

"Hmm." Fuuma is simply nodding, his face oddly expressionless. He doesn't look jealous. Not even perturbed (a childish part of Kamui wishes that Fuuma would, at least, show some sort of reaction.) Instead, he looks like someone who can see through everything, who knows what Kamui will say even before he starts speaking.

_(But then Fuuma can see right into his heart, probably knows more about it than Kamui does himself). _

"I miss you more." _Sometimes_, Kamui wants to say, _I miss you so much that it's killing me inside. _But he doesn't. Again, no need for theatrics_ (life is not always a stage). _

"You miss someone who never existed in the first place?" Fuuma sounds thoroughly intrigued. A bit like the man Subaru loved so much (_but never as charming, never as deceptively elegant - no Fuuma is all seductive and raw danger). _

"What-" But Kamui falls silent; he's been thinking these days, realising more and more that - perhaps - he's always been mistaken about Fuuma. Or the Fuuma he knew. "It doesn't matter. I still miss you."

"You're a strange one. But then humankind is strange," Fuuma moves closer to him, close enough now that he's touching Kamui's cheek (Kamui shivers at the contact, but doesn't pull away),"always wanting things that cannot be had, chasing after impossible dreams and desiring to repair what's been broken irretrievably"

Kamui shakes his head and then laughs softly. "That's not strange. It's called being _human_." He wants to tell Fuuma that he's human too (or was once), but he can't find the words, can't because he knows that Fuuma won't hear him.

_(He tried to save him, but it was too late. Or he could never be saved in the first place.)_

"And that's why humankind will lose in the end … because it's always striving for the impossible." Fuuma's fingertips are ghosting over Kamui's lips. "But, maybe, there's something alluring about that -"

He leans down and kisses Kamui - it's a tender kiss, and Kamui closes his eyes, pretending for a moment that their only pressing concern is Kotori walking up on them, and later teasing them about it _(so, in the end, you didn't want to be my bride, Kamui, but my brother's). _But then, the kiss ends - too quickly - and, when Kamui opens his eyes, it's not the eyes of his childhood's friend meeting his, but that of his enemy's

_(Yes, Fuuma is his enemy, Kamui knows that now). _

"Fuuma, before you leave - I need you to know that I_ love you._" He has never told him that before, and knows that this is the last time he can tell him before -

_(the final act). _

But, even if it's too late, Kamui feels it's important_. _Because, sometimes it's better to say things even if the timing is off, than to never have said those important words at all.

"The me who never was or the me that I'm now?" Fuuma sounds amused, is teasing him, but Kamui doesn't mind. It's not the first time people have been cryptic with him, and it's not the last time, either -

_(he will probably never get the whole picture). _

"All of it." Because, even if the nice Fuuma was a facade, it doesn't negate the time they spent together, it doesn't make Kamui's feelings any less real; _love is love_, Kamui knows that much, at least.

_(knows that what he feels for Fuuma isn't unfathomable or strange, but something warm and permanent - as much a part of him as the memories of Kotori, his mother and all his deceased friends are). _

"Good to know, Kamui - good to know," Fuuma says and he smiles - a real smile this time (the one the old Fuuma used to wear) – before he storms off.

Kamui looks after him - his heart heavy, but also relieved.

_(At least, even if one of them dies, Kamui knows that things were clear between them in the end.)_

_...  
_


End file.
